The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
