who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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