Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
