the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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