yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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