When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do herpes really smell.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
