I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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