'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
apparently the secret to your success is patron
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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