saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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