It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
