problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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