Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
