So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
