trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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