It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
