i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
