So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
