Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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