That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize