He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
