You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
