My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize