it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
