I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
