I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
