I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
