can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
