So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
