Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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