Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
