Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
