Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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