Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
