I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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