You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
