Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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