he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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