Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
