So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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