My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
