her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She bit a glass in half.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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