How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
