i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
