I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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