Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
