He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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