He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
