Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
