You just made me feel so damn special
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
