Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
