garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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