belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
