It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
