Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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