please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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