dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
