I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
