Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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