nut hugger
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I could fuck to npr.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
