I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
