We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
