"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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