How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
