I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
