Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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