I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
