so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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