idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
