You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
