Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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