We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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