We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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