going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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