I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
