dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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