Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
