I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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