No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize