just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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