did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
