I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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