I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love having hate sex.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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