you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
