The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
