I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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