I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
