He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
