do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
